The 5 First Line Lessons for Literary Lust
To start, I want to clarify that I’m offering advice in writing the first line of a story, any story. I know it might sound like… something else, but I’m hoping clickbait does its job.
WHY CARE ABOUT AN OPENING LINE?
First lines: how crucial are they, what is the point, and what makes a good one?
Your first line is very important, but so is your first paragraph and chapter. Most people won’t put down your book after one line, but you don’t get too much leeway. Your first line should grip readers, that’s the entire goal.
The “hook” we’re angling for comes from the old fishing metaphor. Here, you bait your hook with tasty writing, wait for the reader to bite, and lure them in to keep turning pages with whatever you introduce in the first few chapters. You don’t want to have to recast your line because you didn’t make a catch right away. That just sets you up for fishing accidents and hooks lodged in weird places. (I haven’t fished since childhood, but you never forget the stray hooks.)
MasterClass says the goal of your first chapter is to establish the tone of your story, determine the point of view, and provide clear goals for your protagonist, but you don’t have to jam all of that into the very first sentence.
I scoured the internet and spoke with other writers. I sat in my most dignified and professional sweatpants and pondered. In all of this, I have come up with five all-encompassing approaches to writing your first line, or as I will lovingly call it…
THE FIVE FIRST LINE LESSONS FOR LITERARY LUST (or something like that):
Pen, Paper, Intrigue:
I know this is vague, but we can condense a lot of the ideas floating around into this main point. Whether you open with a weird statement, go bold, or aim for ambiguity (as long as it’s too ambiguous–it’s a fine line), this method is something that makes the reader curious, that makes them ask: “what?”
Examples:
1984 | George Orwell: “It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” — Weird.
The Crow Road | Iain Banks: “It was the day my grandmother exploded.” — Bold.
The Picture of Dorian Gray | Oscar Wilde: “The artist is the creator of beautiful things.” —Ambiguous.
Wilde’s line there is an example of ambiguity that still draws readers into his specific story. It’s a general statement but not, at that point, a cliched or common one. Compare this to something like: “My lungs burned as I ran.” Lots of stories (or drafts) start with running. Why should I read yours?
Theme:
Books are not essays. We don’t need to establish our main talking points and define the reason for writing in the opening paragraph, but that doesn’t mean we can’t allude to it. This is not literal. I’m not saying you should roll out the ‘In this novel I will…’ carpet.
Examples:
Back When We Were Grownups | Anne Tyler: “Once upon a time, there was a woman who discovered she had turned into the wrong person.”
The Color Purple | Alice Walker: “You better not never tell nobody but God. It’d kill your mammy.”
Neither is blatantly thematic, but when you understand the story, you can see how the character’s conflict or goal, their challenge or motivation, is established in the first line. Readers often learn lessons alongside the characters, which is why the themes show themselves through those journeys.
Back When We Were Grownups is about a woman rediscovering herself as a middle-aged woman. The first line promises to deliver that.
As stated in Encyclopedia Britannica, The Color Purple “... documents the traumas and gradual triumph of Celie, an African American teenager raised in rural isolation in Georgia, as she comes to resist the paralyzing self-concept forced on her by others.” This may seem like a loose relation to its first line, but I would argue that the quote itself is emblematic of the internalization of trauma that is explored throughout the story. It is, perhaps, a more hidden tie to the theme than our first example, but that’s part of what makes it so brilliant.
Tone:
Tone applies to the overall tenor of the story or protagonist’s voice. Does the first line throw you into a dark mood right away? Does it give insight into a character’s state of mind?
Dim the lights, cue the storm clouds, and prepare to seek therapy; it’s time to set the mood.
Examples:
The Outsiders | S. E. Hinton: “When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I had only two things on my mind: Paul Newman and a ride home.”
The Book Thief | Markus Zusak: “Here is a small fact: You are going to die.”
The Power | Naomi Alderman: “The men lock Roxy in the cupboard when they do it.”
Neuromancer | William Gibson: “The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.”
Stakes:
Stakes often show themselves in prologues where readers see either a flash forward into a story or a flash backward. Think: “I bet you’re wondering how I got here,” except more serious… most of the time.
Example:
They Both Die at the End | Adam Silvera: “Death-Cast is calling with the warning of a lifetime–I’m going to die today.”
Context:
We’re keeping it pretty simple for number five. Context offers… context, be it timeframe, setting, names, etc.
Examples:
The Count of Monte Cristo | Alexandre Dumas: “On the 24th of February 1815, the lookout at Notre-Dame de la Garde signalled the arrival of the three-master Pharaon, coming from Smyrna, Trieste and Naples.”
Murder on the Orient Express | Agatha Christie: “It was five o'clock on a winter’s morning in Syria.”
Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea | Jules Verne: “The year 1866 was signalized by a remarkable incident, a mysterious and inexplicable phenomenon.”
There can be crossover, of course. Our last example gives us context, but it also offers intrigue. The Color Purple could also fit into the ‘intrigue’ and ‘tone’ category. Neuromancer and They Both Die at the End certainly fit more than one. If you can apply several of these, great! You don’t have to, though.
In the past, questions and dialogue were popular ways to start a story. You can still employ either—there is no rule against it—but if you do, try to apply one of the five techniques: intrigue, theme, tone, stakes, and context.
That all sounds intimidating. How can you do that, or how do you choose what to focus on? Let’s look at some well-known books and see what they do.
EXAMINING “THE GREATS”
Though there are debates right now about the culture and politics of trad-pub, we can all concede that Penguin Random House has been a major publisher for a long time. Let’s look at three examples they offer as “the best first lines in fiction.”
We have to acknowledge one thing before diving in, maybe two… three. Yes, three.
These are my personal feelings. If you disagree, that’s fine, feel free to let me know, but we are all entitled to our opinions.
Times have changed. What was popular in writing and publishing when some of these stories were released is not now. Even beloved books like LOTR would struggle to sell as a new release in today’s market because most contemporary fantasy readers aren’t looking for long-winded descriptions. It doesn’t mean the story isn’t good, obviously, but tastes change.
We have to consider genre and category in order to review things fairly.
Let’s begin.
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
C. S. Lewis
“Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy. This story is about something that happened to them when they were sent away from London during the war because of the air-raids.”
This book is for kids, ages 9-12, so it doesn’t need to be gripping and tense in the same way as an adult or YA fantasy might be, but it’s also (on its own, as a first line) pretty boring. It reads more like the early stages of a synopsis. I get that this is the tone of the story, but if I’m looking at this through the lens of intrigue, this has very little.
Are you curious? Maybe. Do we get a glimpse of the theme? Strong voice? No. But we have a few other techniques, right? Do we get a sense of the stakes? Yeah… not really. How about tone? Kind of, though not a particularly exciting one. I would argue the most this passage does is provide context. And, yes, that can be enough if done well. Like I said, to me, this is just plain boring.
Some of you might be thinking: “this is for kids, they don’t need all that.” We can do better. Kids deserve better. I remember reading The Doll People by Ann M. Martin when I was that age-range, if not a little younger. Here’s its opener:
“It had been forty-five years since Annabelle Doll had last seen Auntie Sarah. And forty-five years is a very long time, especially for an eight-year-old girl.”
I’m curious. I think it is a bold statement, that it provides tone, and gives context without dumping too much on the reader. All in all, I think it’s memorable.
How about the Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster (1988), same age range:
“There was once a boy named Milo who didn’t know what to do with himself–not just sometimes, but always.”
You get a character introduction like The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, but it’s integrated in an intriguing, punchy opener. If I remember right, the theme relates to boredom, and we’re already seeing that as the first line lays out the character’s goal. Do we have sweet spot ambiguity? I think so. Tone? Yes, sir. It's short but gripping. Is it perfect? No, but it is better.
On The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe first line, the Penguin Random House article says:
“With two simple sentences, C. S. Lewis not only lets us know who the main players will be in his novel, but also piques our interest – if being sent away from the war isn't the most interesting and affecting thing that happened to these children, then what on Earth was?”
Agree to disagree. Let’s look at two more.
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Austen
“Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy. This story is about something that happened to them when they were sent away from London during the war because of the air-raids.”
I’ll admit, a lot of writing from this time period is hard for me. I’m also not the biggest on dramas and that side of romance, but I love this opening line. It provides tone of voice, is ambiguously intriguing, and some insight into the themes of love, marriage, and expectation.
The Outsider
Albert Camus
“Mother died today. Or maybe, yesterday; I can’t be sure.”
This novella is an existential exploration of someone who does not adhere to social norms. The tone of the first line, if read less dramatically and more lightly, almost alludes to the theme through that character voice. We’ve got intrigue (weird, bold, and ambiguous), we’ve got tone, what’s not to like?
CONCLUSION
If you are trying to craft your own first line, take a look at some of your favorite stories that fit into the genre you’re writing in. What sort of techniques do they employ? Was it one of the FFLOLL? I bet it was.
These methods should help you create something you can be proud of, something readers (or even Penguin Random House) might one day put on their best-of list for first lines. At the very least, I hope you leave this article with a better first line than: “Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy.”
